THE BEST OP-ED EVER!!!!!
Posted by Michael Cohen
There is an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal that compares Batman to . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . George W Bush! I am not making this up:
There seems to me no question that the Batman film "The Dark Knight," currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war. Like W, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand. Like W, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past.
There are so many bat-shit crazy statements in this paragraph I could literally be blogging for hours, weeks, months even years. You would have to pry the laptop off my comatose, snark-emptied body. Suffice to say, I would like to introduce the gentlemen who wrote this piece, one Andrew Klavan, to a document he is likely quite unfamiliar with -- the U.S.Constitution.
But here's the crazy part . . . it gets better!
And like W, Batman understands that there is no moral equivalence between a free society -- in which people sometimes make the wrong choices -- and a criminal sect bent on destruction. The former must be cherished even in its moments of folly; the latter must be hounded to the gates of Hell.
Just so there is no ambiguity here, Mr. Klavan actually penned the words "Batman understands" -- and the Wall Street Journal published it!
Oh, but there is more:
Conversely, time after time, left-wing films about the war on terror -- films like "In The Valley of Elah," "Rendition" and "Redacted" -- which preach moral equivalence and advocate surrender, that disrespect the military and their mission, that seem unable to distinguish the difference between America and Islamo-fascism, have bombed more spectacularly than Operation Shock and Awe.
"Bombed more spectacularly than Shock and Awe" - now THAT is some funny shit! LOL. Good times all around.
And you know, Mr. Klavan is right - when I saw "In the Valley of Elah" I literally went home and got out my white flag (which like every Democrat I keep in a prominent place in my home below the velvet painting of Osama Bin Laden and above the desecrated American flag that I walk on every morning as a I venture to my coffee machine to make a delicious cafe latte). I of course began waving it out my window, hoping that some Al Qaeda member would see me and immediately accept my surrender. But alas, none were available :( So instead I found the nearest US soldier I could find and spit on him! Mission Accomplished!
Oh, but just when you thought Mr. Klavan hadn't hit every branch on the crazy tree - there is more!
Left and right, all Americans know that freedom is better than slavery, that love is better than hate, kindness better than cruelty, tolerance better than bigotry. We don't always know how we know these things, and yet mysteriously we know them nonetheless.
Yes, it is a mystery! When did I ever learn that freedom was better than slavery? For years I thought cruelty was better than kindness and then one day, completely out of left field I suddenly realized that it was in fact wrong to waterboard kittens.
Finally, Mr. Klavan hits his coup de grace:
The true complexity arises when we must defend these values in a world that does not universally embrace them -- when we reach the place where we must be intolerant in order to defend tolerance, or unkind in order to defend kindness, or hateful in order to defend what we love.
When heroes arise who take on those difficult duties themselves, it is tempting for the rest of us to turn our backs on them, to vilify them in order to protect our own appearance of righteousness. We prosecute and execrate the violent soldier or the cruel interrogator in order to parade ourselves as paragons of the peaceful values they preserve.
You know what's odd about this, I had this crazy, wacky, left-wing notion that we prosecute violent soldiers and cruel interrogators because they are . . . you know, violent and cruel. But reading the WSJ has diabused me of this notion; in fact I hate these cruel and violent people to cover up for some terrible inadequacy in my own life, like my silly notion that people should abide by the rule of law and treat everyone with respect and dignity. There it is again, the left wing media brainwashing me again . . . damn you Phil Donahue!
Thank you Andrew Klavan for setting me straight! Thank you Batman for standing up for truth, justice and the American Way. And thank you George W Bush for . . . for . . . I'm sorry DA readers; even I can't go there.