The Donald Would be Proud Posted by Patrick Barry

Apparently, internal Al Qaeda dynamics bear much more of a resemblance to reality television than we had previously imagined.  An announcement from their senior leadership that an Apprenticeesque series has been optioned by Al-Jazeera is imminent.  Here are the cast of characters:

Osama Bin Laden

The scion of a respected real-estate dynasty struggles to live up the family legacy.  Gifted with a domineering persona, his all-consuming desire to bask in the media limelight is believed to have overtaken whatever leadership skills he once possessed.

Apprentice Inspiration:

The Donald

Mohammed Atef

Lacking the charisma necessary for a public-role,  he has made a name for himself as a loyal, if frugal, behind-the-scenes player.  His fiscal discipline, coupled with a preternatural ability to stand next to his superiors and project menace, make him the perfect Lieutenant.

Apprentice Inspiration:

George

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi

An upstart from day one, Zarqawi has distinguished himself by his willingness to flaunt convention.  Ambition is undoubtedly his best asset, and his chief weakness.

Apprentice Inspiration:

Omarosa

It may never be a hit with the critics, but audiences around the globe are sure to tune in.